Kudos to Dave Raynor. He kept his perspective after having his 55 yard FG nullified as well as the 40 yarder immediately after. A lesser person would have mailed it in the rest of the day.

“Boys fans are ready, and our secret weapon is about to be deployed. T.O. will be traded to the Panthers on Tuesday of this week for a 6th round draft choice in the 3007 draft. On Wednesday, he will go nuclear faster than North Korea did (and without Jimmy Carter’s help) and destroy his teamates’ morale for not throwing the ball to him in the game against the Bengals today. He will then proceed to stomp on the Panther logo at midfield after swallowing a lethal dose of M&Ms. Or something like that.

Should this secret weapon misfire, we have arranged for Jerry Jones to buy your team. He will make Barry Switzer the head coach, Ryan Leaf the starting QB, and Lawrence Phillips the featured RB. If need be, he will draft the entire University of Miami football team – including Donna Shalala – and redeploy your team to Kuwait (or Japan or New Orleans).

To secure our righteous victory on the gridiron we have retained Al Gore’s team of lawyers to make sure that all points are counted. We will also take to the streets with no less a warrior than Gore Vidal if we are declared the loser next Sunday.

BEWARE – THIS IS WAR! GORE VIDAL IS ON OUR SIDE(LINE)!