Yeah, right, I need ten chocolate bars like I need a rabid weasel stuffed down my pants (on second thought, don’t mention that to my ex, she probably agrees that’s precisely what I need).

So what did I buy today? Yep. Five caramel filled, five roasted almond, all Cadbury’s.

To make up for it, I did buy healthy stuff, like zucchini and mushrooms. Both of which are going to be awesome coated in chocolate.

Pray for me that Monday’s interview with a local car dealer gets me out of this 3rd ring of hell!!

Yeah; if’n you get hired there, you’ll wind up in the fourth ring of Hell.

Nothing has worked. She fills trunk after trunk, year after year, with balls, lights, and festive hangings in all the colors of the rainbow. Too much is never enough. We simply live too close to Fortunoff’s.

We also live too close to Nordstrom’s, Bloomingdale’s, and Discount Shoe Warehouse, but that’s a subject for another time.

I was gonna do some stupid LOTR “precious” riff but thought better of it whilst nursing my scars from today.

Pray for me that Monday’s interview with a local car dealer gets me out of this 3rd ring of hell!!

Oh, and Merry Christmas to you all.

I thought it would be something much more serious, ST…

Like shoes or something.

Jack.

I DID IT! I killed JFK!

And RFK.

And Lincoln.

And JR Ewing.

And Harry.

And Elvis.

And Caeser (E tu Mwalimu?)

And the snail darter, the dodo, the passenger pigeon, and the dinosaurs. I have all of the bodies buried in the back yard. Except that some are in the freezer. One in the flower garden. All were snuffed in the library with the candlestick with the help of Miss Scarlet. I’m glad I did it! BWAHAHAHA! And I feel great! Out damned spot! Out I say!